


A Long December

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-26 14:17:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20027716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: Rin returns to Tokyo after three years away, wondering if she can actually find the closure that she isn't even sure she wants to seek.





	A Long December

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D5PtyrewSs

Sometimes a home just stops being a home. For a place that had once held her best memories, Rin didn't like returning to where she'd grown up. All of those good times had been replaced in her heart by indescribable pain, making it very hard to even live in Japan itself. Continuing to have roots in Tokyo was just out of the question. That was why she'd ended up moving away more than three years ago. To put as much distance between herself and those bad memories as she could, she packed up her things and heading for the sunny shores of California.

It was funny that she'd end up moving there, considering her complete lack of English-speaking ability. She'd never done well in those classes: even Honoka was better at it than her, though not by much. Maki had always said she spoke English like she was trying to strangle it, but the desire to escape that despair had been a surprisingly motivating emotion. She'd known almost nothing of the language on the day she decided to move there. Within three days, she'd already purchased a plane ticket and was on her way, but she learned. She spent a good portion of the flight reading a Japanese-to-English translator, and she put more into learning that than she'd done anything outside of idols and sports.

Everything about what she'd done was impulsive and difficult. She struggled understanding the intricacies and quirks of English. She would often misinterpret what others meant due to the cultural differences between the countries. Hell, just the sheer amount of _stuff_ she would discover on a daily basis was often overwhelming. What made it worse was that she didn't have a support system when she got there. The time difference meant her chances to speak with her friends was cut down, on top of the fact that they were all adults now with adult lives and adult problems. She knew about those all too well. The bad thoughts that had plagued her for too many weeks hadn't just been left behind, as much as she wanted them to be. They followed her and made sure to crop up at the most inopportune times.

Things had ended up okay, though. She'd persevered and refused to go home with her tail between her legs. Though her English was constantly in need of a tune-up, she got a job and found a place to stay with a couple of other women from the general Asiatic continent. That led to her having friends, which had slowly but surely brought a dose of peace to her mind. It did cause her to lose touch with her old friends in turn, but maybe that was a sacrifice she needed to make. Honestly, the less she thought about them, the less she thought about what had happened. It wasn't an easy trade-off, but it was one she felt okay with making in the end.

"So why am I back here..." Rin sighed deeply, looking out of the airport window. Beyond the tarmac was the city that she had once called home: one that she had sworn she'd never return to. She'd done so good for three years, but all it took was a simple text... Two weeks ago, she'd gotten a text from Nozomi asking if she would come home for a few days. A week at the most, just for old time's sake. She'd said no at first, having not wanted to fully reopen those old wounds again. Even subsequent texts from Eli and Kotori didn't sway her. As much as she missed them, she just didn't want to risk ruining all the progress she'd made.

"Maki really misses you." That was Nozomi's last ditch effort to try and sway Rin, and it was the one that did the trick. "She wouldn't want me telling you this, but she's been struggling ever since you left." Without context, a text like that would lead someone to believe that it was just Rin leaving that had Maki like that. They both knew the unspoken fact that was the driving force behind those struggles, though. Seeing that text had made her scowl without realizing it. Her initial reaction was to text back how that was good: how Maki deserved to feel that way after what she'd done. Or rather, what she _hadn't_ done.

"I'll think about it." She couldn't, though. The years of friendship she'd had with Maki made it impossible to actually hate her. Of course, she'd said that she did. She'd been saying she hated Maki so much that she could never forgive her for three years now. By this point, though, it had just become a routine: something that she now assumed to be true. Now that Nozomi made her think about it, she realized that it wasn't. Maybe it had never been true. As much as she _wanted_ to hate her, she just couldn't. After that first thought of petty glee that her former friend was struggling, she found herself nearly crushed by guilt and worry. An entire ocean separated her old life with her current one, but she could not escape everything she had left behind.

Unsure of what she should do, she ended up confiding in her roommates. She considered them both to be really close friends, and she trusted their judgement as impartial third parties. Neither of them knew her friends, or even the idol group that they'd all been in together. When she'd told them every piece of pertinent information, they both agreed that she should go back. Even if she couldn't find it in her heart to forgive Maki, it would be worth it to at least find closure. Based on what she'd told them, they got the feeling that she'd never truly made any kind of peace about what had happened. It was still an open book, and for her own mental health, it needed to be shut.

So in the end, she agreed to come back for a week. She questioned herself the entire way, though. Even as she stood in that Tokyo airport with no way of getting back except to wait, she questioned herself. What the absolute hell was she doing back here? She knew why, but... Ugh, she could already feel terrible thoughts creeping back into her mind. She tried to shake them off, but they kept slithering around her brain, making sure she couldn't get more than a moment of peace. This was a mistake: she just knew it.

She walked out of the 'arrivals' door, dragging her suitcase behind her. Merely being in the airport that she had departed the country from hit her hard. She didn't even notice that her ride was there until she was nearly sideswiped by the tightest possible hug. Letting go of her suitcase, she found herself being squeezed by a familiar face. She couldn't help but smile when she saw Nozomi unabashedly beaming at her. At least some things never changed. In a positive way, anyway.

"Ooh, it's so good to see you, Rin!" Sometime during university, Nozomi had stopped putting her hair up in twintails. It made her look a lot more mature, though it also meant it was sometimes tough to tell who was who between her and Umi in the dark. One didn't try to put their hands on your chest, so that was usually a good giveaway. "How was the flight?"

"It was fine. I think I'm finally getting tired of watching Zootopia every flight."

"That doesn't sound like the Rin I know." The two of them started walking out of the airport together. As they got closer to the exit, Rin could feel a sense of dread building up in her stomach. She wanted to turn around and run right back through those doors, begging any pilot to store her in the overhead compartments and take her right back to California. That wasn't a feasible option, though. They'd just make her pay to change her date of return. She was just going to have to deal with this.

The entire car ride back to Nozomi's place, she remained mostly silent. She let Nozomi do the talking, listening to her talk about anything that had happened in the past three years to fill the void of silence. Her attention was mostly on the sights just outside the window. She pressed her cheek against the glass and watched everything pass her by, feeling a sickly sense of nostalgia. One thing she noticed about what Nozomi was talking about was that none of it was negative. It was all about normal, happy things that had been going on while she was gone. She was sure that it was a conscious decision on her part, and she didn't blame her one bit. She didn't really want to talk about the negative things either, or think about them at all.

Exhaustion suddenly hit her, and before she realized it she had fallen asleep. She kept waking up when a bump would knock her off the window, but then she'd quickly fall right back asleep. It was a dreamless sleep, but she swore that she could still hear Nozomi talking the entire time. Most of what she was saying sounded garbled, though, like she was trying to talk through a fan. Heh, like when they caught Maki doing that in the clubroom...

"Rin, wake up. We're here." She felt Nozomi shaking her shoulder. With a groan, she sat up and tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes. She looked out the window, seeing the quaint place that Nozomi called home. Nozomi hadn't owned it very long before she'd moved away, so she had no idea just what kind of changes might've been made to the interior. Since her friend was kind enough to let her stay there for the week, she was about to get acquainted with whatever look it had going for it now.

As soon as she got inside, she was surprised to find the house wasn't empty. Eli and Umi, who had both been in the living room, were up and over to the door as soon as they heard it open. They both embraced her, saying how much they had missed her while she was gone. As much as she tried to take that impassively, she felt tears in her eyes. Gods, she had missed them too. It had all seemed okay when she'd been gone and their conversations had started to dwindle. Having them right in front of her made her realize just what she'd been missing, and it absolutely made her emotional.

All four of them went into the living room to talk for a bit, but Rin was too tired to fully follow the conversations. She'd tried to tell them she was fine when asked, but she said it while simultaneously nodding off. Nozomi offered to take her to the guest room, but she said she was fine on the couch. She just wanted to take a quick nap there and they could all keep going like she wasn't there. If only she really wasn't, but that was another conversation. Honestly, she was too tired to even feel the dread that had met her at the airport. Jet lag could be a real bitch sometimes.

That 'quick nap' ended up taking the whole damn day. She kept blinking in and out of consciousness, catching snippets of conversation mixed with the occasional movement around the couch. By the time she woke up for real, it was nighttime and she was thirsty. Pushing herself off the couch, she found the kitchen and took a look in the fridge. There were several bottles of water immediately in sight, so she took one of them and twisted the cap off. If it ended up being a big deal, she'd just pay for the bottle.

She took the water back to the couch and sat down, gulping down a third of it and staring into the darkness. Her eyes were adjusting to it, allowing her to see the faded shapes of Nozomi's furniture and other knick-knacks she had lying around. She'd always been into some weird stuff that she'd never understood, but it wasn't something that she'd judge her over. Everyone had something weird that they enjoyed, and as long as it wasn't hurting anyone, then who cared?

Speaking of hurting someone... The gravity of where she was really hit her then. When she looked around again, she could see different furniture within a tiny but cozy apartment now being overlayed over Nozomi's stuff. She could feel all the warmth and happiness that had been her life for years, and then suddenly it all came to a screeching halt. It suddenly felt very cold in the room, and everything was dark again. She bit down on her lip as she tried to keep the tears back in their ducts where they belonged. She didn't want to cry right now.

Though she didn't cry, she still felt pretty lousy. She tried to lay down and go to sleep, but now the jet lag had decided to abandon her. All she had left was the miserable and angry thoughts that she just knew were going to come back the moment she stepped foot in this city. She should've just said no to coming back. How hard would that have been? Yes, it probably would've made her friends upset, and she would've felt guilty about that, but that couldn't possibly be worse than this. Caring about her mental health was more important, wasn't it?

Sighing, she hid her face in her hands and finally let her emotions get the better of her. Gods, she just really, really missed Hanayo...

* * *

"I heard Rin's back. You two gonna bury the hatchet or what?" Nico was as blunt as always. Maki had gotten that text nearly twenty-four hours ago, and she still hadn't replied. She didn't even know what to say to that. At first, she thought that Nico was lying. It would've been a pretty shitty joke, though, and even she knew better than to go there. She couldn't have been lying, then, but... Again, what was she supposed to say to that? How was she supposed to feel?

Her and Rin hadn't left off on the best of terms. That was putting it lightly, honestly. The two of them hadn't even talked since she left. They hadn't even exchanged any text messages. For all intents and purposes, they had been ghosting each other for three years. It made sense, though. In the space of mere days, ten years of friendship had vanished. As much as she may have wanted to hold onto it, the whispers of what they had been just slipped from her grasp. Maybe she could've saved it if she had done something, anything, but her pride had gotten in the way. So she said nothing, and Rin said nothing. By this point, she had believed that would always be how their relationship was: nothing.

She leaned against her kitchen counter and tipped the bottle in her hand up, letting the liquid trickle down her throat. It didn't matter that Rin was back. That wasn't going to repair their relationship. Her failure at the one thing she was supposed to do right had ruined not only their friendship, but the friendship of their entire group. It had taken a long time for most of them to recover, but her and Rin? Well, funny enough, the two that wouldn't speak to each other were the only ones who hadn't truly moved on. She downed the rest of the bottle and texted Nico back, telling her that she was busy.

"Bullshit. Like hell you're busy!" She decided to just ignore that text. Setting the bottle down on the counter, she went to the fridge and grabbed another one. It was her third drink of the night, but this was a thirst that she knew couldn't be quenched. She sure as hell was going to keep trying, though. "I know you're leaving me on read, Maki. You can't hide from this for an entire week." She was probably right, but that didn't mean she was going to give Nico the satisfaction of knowing that. As long as she had the power of denial on her side, she couldn't be defeated easily.

"Watch me." She was determined to finally ignore all other texts from Nico, or from anyone else that might try to persuade her. They could talk: at least Rin still liked them. When she heard the sound of her phone ringing, she groaned and rubbed her temples with her fingers. She didn't need to look at the screen to know that it was Nico calling. That little gremlin never knew how to let things stay as they were. It was so annoying sometimes. She didn't want to answer, but she knew that if she didn't, then she would get an incessant amount of calls all night. Maybe she should just shut her phone off...

"Leave me alone, Nico." She regretted answering immediately, but she just wanted the ringing to stop. Hopefully she could just tell Nico straight-up that she wasn't going to meet with Rin, and that would be that. Even thinking that, she knew it was a vain hope.

"Are you drunk?" She could hear the disgust in Nico's voice. What hypocrisy: like Nico never drank a drop in her life or something. Who was the one who had to be wrestled to the ground by Eli before she could dance topless at the bar on her twenty-first birthday? "Don't you have work in the morning?" Gods, how was she being lectured to by Nico of all people? This was so ridiculous... and embarrassing. Pitiful, really.

"That's what I told you: I'm busy." If Nico knew that she had work tomorrow, then why was she bugging her this late at night anyway? She started downing the new bottle she'd grabbed, hearing a grumbling on the other line. "If it's so annoying for you to talk to me, then why are you even bothering?" She had known better than to answer the phone, especially when she was like this. According to Eli, in the nicest terms she had been able to put it, Maki was a 'bitter drunk'. Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.

"Because I'm your friend, you idiot!" Nico sounded exasperated, more so when she could hear Maki drinking on the other end. "Are you drinking while you're talking to me? You really need to go to AA or whatever for that." Maki grumbled at that, but she didn't respond. If anything, that irked Nico more. "Do you think you're the only one hurting? Well you're not. Everybody's still hurting, but we're doing our best to keep living our lives. That's what she would've wanted-"

"You don't know what she would've wanted!" She screamed into the phone, shocking Nico into silence. "You don't know anything!" Her body was shaking violently, her grip so tight on the phone that she was afraid she'd break it. "I'm not going to talk to her. In case you forgot, she hates my guts. And you know what? I don't blame her. I'm sure you all hate me too and you just won't tell me. That's fine, okay? You probably _should_ hate me. I'm the one who messed everything."

"Don't say that, dammit! None of us hate-" She hung up before Nico could finish her sentence. Setting her phone down, she lifted her hand up and gently touched her cheek. She could feel wetness there, and she didn't like that one bit. Grabbing the bottle again, she drank it all down, relishing the burn it left lingering in her throat. She didn't care if they all hated her. It's not like she didn't get all of that every time she looked in a mirror. She'd made a mistake, and she'd have to live with it for the rest of her miserable life. Talking with Rin wasn't going to fix anything. She knew it wouldn't. All it would do was make everything worse, and then they'd leave each other on even worse terms. Why did Nico think that was a good idea?

She finished off her third drink and went for a forth. If she was going to get through this week, she was going to need to buy more alcohol.

* * *

Rin stood outside the Nishikino Hospital with her hands shoved in her jacket pockets. She sucked in a breath of cold air, sighing as she stared at the all-too-familiar walls. Out of all the places in Tokyo, this was the place she definitely didn't want to go to. Most of those bad memories she had were concentrated there specifically. She hadn't planned on being anywhere near there, but of course someone intervened. Surprisingly, it was Nico, who had come over to Nozomi's early in the morning and woken everyone up by knocking repeatedly on the door.

"You and Maki need to reconcile before I lose my freakin' mind." She shivered and tried to shove her hands deeper into her pockets. Even if she thought that there was a point in doing this, why did she have to be the one to go to Maki? That girl was as stubborn as she'd always been, and again it was her who had to go and start the conversation. In almost every instance, that had been how it always happened. Why couldn't she be just as stubborn for once and hide out for the rest of the week on Nozomi's couch?

"I don't know if I can, Nico. I just... I haven't forgiven her yet." She walked up the hospital, standing just beyond the range of the automatic doors. Inside, all the lights were on and things looked almost exactly as she remembered it. There were a few people seated and waiting to get called on, and she could see part of the check-in desk that she had become way too familiar with. The only thing that was missing was complete chaos, which she was sure would happen if she went in there and tried to talk to Maki.

"I know, I know. I can't make you two kiss and make up or anything, but..." Grimacing, she stepped forward, watching the doors slide open. It was now or never, and she was definitely leaning towards the latter. "She's been a mess since it happened. She sits in her house and drinks all the damn time, and none of us have been able to break through to her. It's hurt her just as much as it hurt the rest of us." She walked inside, letting out a shuddering breath as the doors closed behind her.

"So what? It was her fault, Nico! She should've done something!" At the front desk, she asked to see Doctor Nishikino. Of course, she forgot about the family name and needed to quickly amend it to 'the daughter Nishikino'. "She said she would do everything in her power to save her!" It made her feel uncomfortable having to say that the two of them were friends, but it was successful in getting her somewhere. She was told that Doctor Nishikino would be paged and could meet her out here. That was probably for the best: with others watching, neither of them would be willing to cause a scene.

"There was only so much she could've done. Look, I just can't stand to see her like this, alright? Her stupid ass is going to kill herself with all this self-destructive behavior, and I'm not trying to lose any more friends. If you two can't work it out, then at least find some kind of closure. It'll help everyone move on." Closure, huh? That was exactly what her roommates had said. Hearing Nico say it was the thing that spurred her to go where she was now. Maybe they all were right, and she needed to find some kind of ending to all these terrible thoughts in her head before it made her turn to the same self-destructive behaviors that were apparently plaguing Maki.

Standing in the waiting room, she couldn't keep herself still. She tapped her foot, played with her fingers, and eventually just started pacing. Hopefully it wasn't annoying anybody else in the room. She just couldn't stand the waiting. This was something that needed to happen immediately, or the chance of her bailing would increase. Ugh, why did she have to do this anyway? Closure was overrated. She much preferred staying in California and living in denial for the rest of her life. That sounded like a damn good time.

"Rin?" She turned and froze at the sight of Maki standing at the end of the hall. Neither of them moved initially, seemingly content to just stare like a couple of awkward teenagers. Things really did never change huh? They both snapped out of it simultaneously, but the awkwardness didn't cease. It seemed to permeate the entire area as they slowly started to walk closer to each other. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you. There's... probably a few things we need to discuss." Despite what Nico had said, she couldn't see anything physically wrong with Maki. She'd honestly expected her to look like a hot mess, with untamed hair and dark circles under her eyes, but she looked just fine. Still just as aloof and impossibly attractive as always. That didn't look like the kind of person who was drinking herself to death every night. "Can we, uh, sit somewhere?"

"Yes, uh... We can. Follow me." She led Rin to the hospital's break room, which was thankfully empty at the moment. Rin took a seat while Maki went over to the coffee machine. "I didn't expect to see you while you were here. Do you want something to drink?" The coffee machine sputtered as Maki tried to pour herself a cup, a perfect complement to their present conversation. "Damn, they still haven't fixed this..."

"I'm okay." Well, she was okay when it came to not having anything to drink: especially coffee. She'd never been able to gain a taste for the stuff like Maki had. "So, uh-" She let out a surprised shout when Maki suddenly punched the coffee maker, nearly toppling it over. That was certainly new. She'd never seen Maki lose her temper like that. Sometimes she could get a little huffy with her attitude, but she'd never resorted to hitting things. "What the hell was that, Maki?!"

"Sorry... I didn't mean to do that." Maki scowled and drank down her entire cup of coffee in one gulp. When she threw the cup in the trash, Rin could finally see the struggles on her face. A pang of guilt tugged at her heart, but then she remembered where she was. This was the very place where Maki had failed her: she had failed them all. The fact that she could still be there, doing the same job that she obviously wasn't qualified for, suddenly infuriated her. All thoughts of trying to reconcile suddenly went out the window, being replaced with an intense, perhaps over-the-top anger.

"Oh yeah, you didn't mean to do that. Just like you didn't mean to let one of your best friends die." She saw Maki tense up, but in that moment, she didn't care. All the anger that she'd thought she'd left behind had found her again, and it felt good. The worst kind of 'good'. The kind where she knew she'd feel like shit later, but she couldn't stop herself from letting it out. "What kind of doctor are you that you can't even save that important of a life? How can you even show your face here after that?"

"I didn't let her die! I tried everything I could to save her!" Maki gripped the counter tightly, her knuckles turning white as she stared Rin down. "Do you have any idea how much pain I've felt since then? She was one of my best friends, Rin! Every day I think about what else I could have done to save her..." Her voice trailed off as she looked away, unable to look Rin in the eyes anymore. She was visibly shaking, trying to fight the emotions that were consuming her body.

"A fat lot of good that did! How could you even ask if I have 'any idea' about what pain you're going through? You're the one who has no idea! We were dating for years! You lost a friend, but I lost my everything. She was all I had, and you let her die!" She couldn't restrain herself anymore, letting everything she'd wanted to scream in Maki's stupid face out in one horrendous burst. "I bet she's rolling in her grave knowing that you're still here to let other people die."

Even in her most anger-fueled form, she knew that was uncalled for. Maki let go of the counter, her body completely stiffening as her eyes widened. Her anger was blunted at this point, knowing that she'd said something she couldn't take back now. Not only was it unfair to Maki despite it all, it was an insult to her memory. Gods, why had she said that? Oh Gods... She turned and stormed out of the room, running as fast as she could. She didn't even stay to see if she had made Maki cry: she knew that she had, and the thought made her sick to her stomach.

Though she nearly knocked over a nurse on her way out, she didn't stop running until she reached the parking lot. She grabbed her phone and was about to dial Nozomi, but she didn't even hit the call button before her emotions completely overwhelmed her. Tears poured down her face as she openly sobbed, almost laughing through her crying. She'd messed up. She knew that she'd messed up. After all this time of blaming Maki for what had happened, for once she could admit that this was on her. She'd made that error, she said that terrible thing, and there was no way that she was going to be able to fix it.

She leaned back and slid down the hospital wall until her sobbing had subsided before trying to call Nozomi again, but she still managed to bawl like a baby throughout the call. At the very least, it got Nozomi moving quickly, since she was the only way Rin was getting home at the moment. That didn't make it any less embarrassing, though. This whole... everything was just terrible. All along, she had known this was a mistake. If she had just stayed where she belonged, then everything would've been exactly how it should be. She'd be living a relatively happy life of denial, and her friends wouldn't have to deal with the drama she and Maki were now throwing over the entire city. Inviting her back for a week was one of Nozomi's worst ideas yet.

Neither of them said a word as Nozomi drove them back to her house. The radio was off, so Rin filled the silence with her occasional sobbing. She felt absolutely wretched: a rotten bastard for what she had said to Maki. It was too awful for her to admit what she'd said to Nozomi. She knew that her friend would grill her about what had happened, since it obviously hadn't gone very well. That was one detail she was going to have to leave out, though. As shitty as it was, she knew Maki wouldn't tell anybody about it either, so that particular point of contention would remain just between them. How awful...

"So, I take it things didn't go well?" Umi greeted them when they returned to the house, putting an arm over Rin's shoulders and guiding her to the couch. They sat down together while Nozomi went into the kitchen, though she made sure to keep her ears open for anything being said.

"That's putting it lightly." She laughed and wiped away the tears from her eyes. "We weren't talking a minute before we started arguing. I... didn't really help matters..." She looked down at the floor guiltily, hearing what she had said repeating in the her mind, never ending. Thankfully, Umi didn't press her for further details. She just rubbed Rin's shoulders and let her speak at her own pace. "I made everything worse..."

"Maki is... a complicated person." Rin laughed again. That was the understatement of the year. "Ever since..." She bit down on her lip, walking on eggshells around the subject. That had clearly become an established norm at this point. "... it happened, Maki hasn't really talked to any of us about how she's feeling. She isn't really good at hiding the truth, though, so it's obvious that she's been struggling on her own for all these years. No matter how much we try, she won't let any of us in."

"Ain't that the truth?" Nozomi came into the living room, a bowl of ramen in her hands. "As much as Maki wishes we couldn't read her like a book, she's really just basic children's literature. She blames herself for her death, and she also blames herself for you leaving." Setting the bowl down in front of Rin, she took a seat on the other side and smiled sadly. "She wouldn't say anything because she's still a stubborn little tomato, and like Umi said, we tried. Believe me. Nico, Honoka, and I have tried so many times to get through to her, but she's managed to shut us out every time. I'm kind of surprised, actually. Usually our combined forces have a way of breaking down those stubborn walls." She leaned back and sighed. "Not this time, though."

"Huh..." Rin stared off into nothing, feeling her brain being weighed down by too many thoughts. There were so many that she couldn't focus on any of them, but they all made sure to make her feel especially low. This was just so... so awful. She turned and let herself fall against Nozomi, crying against her shoulder. "Why did this have to happen?" She hid her face against Nozomi's shoulder, staining her shirt with tears. "I can't do this... I can't do this without her... Oh Gods, I miss Hanayo so much..."

"We all miss her too..." Nozomi held Rin close, meeting Umi's gaze. They both frowned, knowing they could only do so much to help their distressed friend. It wasn't high school anymore: they really were helpless in the face of everything that had happened. They just didn't know what to do. None of them did.

* * *

Being awake at two in the morning wasn't as fun as it had been when she was younger. Now she actually _wanted_ to be asleep, but she wasn't being granted that wish. She'd been woken up by a nightmare, one that had been a familiar companion back then. After nearly a year in California, the nightmares had stopped, and she'd truly believed them to be gone for good. Obviously that wasn't the case, but she knew exactly why it was. She'd come back to the place where the nightmares had first manifested, so of course they would've been waiting for her. Just another reminder that this had been a horrible mistake. How many more of those did she really need at this point?

She sat up on the guest bed and hugged her legs to her chest. Not only were her nightmares the same ones that had plagued her mind for so many months, but there was a new twist. The sound of her terrible words to Maki were burned into her brain, and she just couldn't shake them. It felt so wrong to believe that she needed to apologize to her, since it was Maki's fault this had all happened in the first place.

"She blames herself for her death, and she also blames herself for you leaving." She groaned and pressed her hands against the sides of her head. Was Nozomi telling the truth, or was she just inferring that this was the case? Nozomi wasn't usually wrong, though. She had a keen eye for these sorts of things, especially when it came to people like Maki. It was very likely that she was telling the truth... which meant that Maki really was suffering. Wasn't that good, though? She had wanted her to feel guilty for what she had done, and obviously she was. That was exactly what she had wanted.

Instead of making her feel satisfied, it made her feel like a horrible person. Maybe if she had tried to understand that Maki had done everything she could, then things might've ended up okay. She hadn't, though, and Maki had remained stubborn as always. Now she was killing herself from the inside out while Rin held a grudge and just watched her do it. She had said that Hanayo would be ashamed of Maki still being where she was, but... now it felt like it was _her_ that she would be ashamed of.

An after-midnight manic thought came to mind, and she jumped off the couch to put it into action. She went over to Nozomi's bedroom door, opening it as quietly as she could and sneaking inside. All the lights were off, but her eyes soon adjusted to the shape of a bed with someone slumbering atop it. She tiptoed over to the side of the bed and gently shook her, whispering her name near her ear.

"Hah? Wha-" Nozomi moaned as she sat up, her hair falling into her face as she tried to figure out what was going on. If this was any other circumstance, Rin would be in a fit of giggles because of how ridiculous Nozomi looked. In the dark, she looked like some kind of forest monster. "Wha's goin' on?" She brushed the hair out of her eyes and tried to adjust her vision to the black that had enveloped the room. "Rin, issat you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry to wake you, but I wanted to ask a favor." She suddenly felt extremely nervous, and the question didn't want to come out. It had to be forced out, lest she take so long that Nozomi ended up falling back asleep. "Can you please drive me to Maki's house? I need to talk to her right now." She held her breath waiting for a response. Nozomi blinked, then blinked again, then picked up her phone and looked at the time. She had to hold the phone away from her at first, since the light was so blinding.

"Rin, it's... it's two in the morning... Can't it wait until the sun's out?" Rin shook her head emphatically, knowing that it couldn't wait another moment. Unlike Nozomi, she was wide awake and she wouldn't be able to sleep until she'd seen this through. "Alright..." With a groan, she rolled over and planted a kiss on the lump beneath the sheets next to her, mumbling that she was taking Rin over to Maki's. Then she got up and pulled her keys out of the nightstand drawer, not even bothering to change out of her pajamas as she shuffled to the door.

Rin ended up behind the wheel, since Nozomi was way too tired to drive properly. She could barely give out the proper directions, making what should've been a simple drive a lot more harrowing. It didn't help that Rin's mind wasn't fully on the road, but instead on what in the world she was going to say. She'd really jumped head-first into this idea without thinking about any further consequences it might bring. Just like high school.

They eventually made it to Maki's house. Rin parked on the side of the road and told Nozomi that she could just head home without her. If things went okay, she would just stay at Maki's. If things went badly, then she'd sleep in a bush or something. However, Nozomi was too tired to even try to drive home. Instead, she decided she was just going to crash on the nearest sleepable surface in Maki's house. Whatever happened between the two of them would go on independently of her.

On the walk to the front door, Rin felt like she was going to throw up at any second. This was a terrible idea. She didn't even know if Maki was up. Even if she was, how would they start a conversation after everything that had happened? Her mind couldn't fathom any way that it was possible, and she immediately wanted to just go right back to Nozomi's house. She couldn't do it, though. Maybe she didn't owe Maki anything, but you know what? She at least owed herself some closure. There was going to be an end to this chapter, or she was going to die trying... Hopefully not... actually die. Nobody needed to die right now.

She rang the doorbell, bouncing on her toes as she waited. Looking over towards Nozomi, she could see her struggling to stay awake. Her eyes kept shutting, then again when she'd force them open. She felt a bit guilty for dragging her out of bed for this. It was kind of surprising there was any room left in her body for more guilt, but she could squeeze it on down in there. When there hadn't been an answer in thirty seconds, she had to debate on whether or not she should ring the bell again. After another fifteen seconds of deliberation, she did so.

Thirty seconds later, she could see Maki walking into view through the glass. She was shrouded in darkness, but there was no doubt that it was her. Then the lights came on overhead, bathing the porch in the glow. She swallowed nervously, shoving her hands into her pockets to avoid trying to rip her nails off. The door opened, and Maki stared at them with undisguised surprise.

"Why are you two here?" Considering how late it was, Maki didn't seem to be dressed for bed. She was still wearing her doctor's coat, though it seemed close to falling off at any moment. The coat was open, revealing the business-casual look of her polo shirt and jeans. She also looked terrible, with reddened eyes and hair that was completely mussed up. That was more of the look that Rin had expected when they'd seen each other the previous morning, and it really did not make her feel better.

"I-" She couldn't get any words out before Nozomi had pushed herself past Maki and stumbled into the house. They both just stared at her, with Maki seemingly unsure whether she should say anything or not. With Nozomi not looking back at them, she turned to Rin and gave her a questioning look. "She, uh, is really tired. I made her get up to take me here." She laughed awkwardly, seeing Nozomi disappear behind a wall. Whatever furniture came first, they would surely find her sleeping there by the time they were done. Whether she would be allowed in or not was another question.

"Alright..." Maki stood in the doorway, arms crossed as she sized Rin up. She suddenly felt very small under that gaze, which was a first for her. Their friendship had always been one where she felt invincible to Maki's normally-burning gaze, but now her guilt made her feel much more vulnerable. After about ten seconds, Maki dropped her guard. She sighed and stepped back, giving Rin room to enter. "Just come in before you let any bugs in."

"Thanks." That sounded more like the Maki she remembered. She stepped inside and let Maki close the door. Then she fell in line behind her and the two of them walked into the living room. The large couch in there was the first thing that Nozomi had found, so she was lying face down on it and appeared to be sound asleep. With a slight frown, Maki walked around the couch to make sure she was actually breathing. "I'm pretty sure she's not dead, Maki... Right?"

"Of course not." Maki came back around and cast one last look at Nozomi. "Come on, let's go upstairs." She unzipped her jacket as they made their way up the stairs. It had only hit her then just how warm it was in the house. Maki obviously wasn't going to let herself deal with anything close to the chill outside, and honestly she couldn't blame her. If she had that kind of money, she'd heat up her own apartment something fierce.

Compared to the living room, Maki's bedroom seemed a lot more barren. There was only a calendar pinned to the wall, and a few makeup products on her vanity. On her nightstand was a lamp and a picture of herself with her parents at the hospital. By the looks of it, it had probably been taken at least five years ago. She still had the side ponytail she'd adopted at university. It had looked really mature on her, but she couldn't remember asking why she'd stopped wearing her hair in that style.

"Maki, I... I want to apologize." She sat down on the bed, doing her best to keep eye contact with Maki. Her former friend remained standing, eyeing her impassively. There was something more vulnerable in her eyes, though. "What I said to you at the hospital wasn't right. I was angry, and... She wouldn't have thought that." She let out a shuddering breath, dropping her gaze. The memories were hitting her hard now.

"It's fine." Maki sat down next to her, staring pensively at the wall. Rin didn't believe for a second it was 'fine': that was just a classic Maki answer. "You were right, though. She would_ hate_ to know that I'm still doing this." She smiled sadly, stumbling over her next sentence. "I was upset that you- that you were angry with me, but..." It looked like she was about to cry, and she kept having to stop speaking to avoid her words becoming nothing but sobs. "You were right. I let her die, and I was- I was in denial. The whole time..."

"I was angry, Maki. I said things that I shouldn't have." She sighed and placed a hand on Maki's shoulder. Trying to reconnect with someone she had vehemently hated was pretty difficult. She had never had trouble admitting she was wrong before, but admitting it here was much harder. What she had said to Maki, followed by years of silence, was rude, and it was like looking at her own guilt in the mirror. She felt pretty damn wretched. "Hanayo wouldn't feel that way about you."

"You don't know that." Looking down at the floor, Maki had never looked so vulnerable. It made her heart twist uncomfortably. "I can't even have any pictures of her in the house anymore. Whenever I see them, all I can see is her dying right in front of me. I couldn't save her. I couldn't..." She choked back a sob, her hair framing her face to hide her sorrowful expression.

"It wasn't your fault. You did everything you could." Somehow, the two of them had reversed roles. A terrible part of her mind was feeling way too giddy about seeing Maki like this. Having her admit that she had failed was almost vindictive, but it wasn't right. Her misery over Hanayo's death had clouded her judgment, and it had made her refuse to believe that Maki could've truly done nothing to stop what had happened. She had wanted to believe so badly that Hanayo could be saved that when she wasn't, she'd lashed out well beyond her character. It was only now that she had forced herself to see Maki once again face to face did she realize that all these years of silence were a complete waste. She should've just listened to Nozomi when she'd tried to get her to talk to Maki before she moved away.

"She didn't deserve to die, though. You'd think I would have learned not to let it affect me. I'm a doctor: I see people who don't deserve to die die for a living." She laughed, but there was no humor in it. "But it did, and it was the worst day of my life... I was thinking about offing myself after you yelled at me in the hospital. That's pretty sad, huh?" She didn't even seem phased by her own thoughts of suicide, as if it wasn't the first time she had thought about it. "I wish I could've traded places with her. Then she'd still be alive, and you'd still be here. Things would be okay-"

"Don't you dare say that!" She grabbed Maki hard by the shoulders, catching her by surprise. She just couldn't sit idly by and listen to Maki consider killing herself. In her darkest thoughts concerning her former friend, she had never wanted her to die. One death in their friend group was awful enough. "Do you have any idea how awful I would feel knowing you had killed yourself because of what I said?"

"Why would you care? You told me she would be rolling her grave." She sighed deeply, knowing those mistaken words were going to be held against her for a long time. It was understandable, but that didn't make it easy to take.

"I'm sorry, Maki. I shouldn't have said that. It was unfair. I was... I was just angry, and I've been holding that anger in for so long." She couldn't look Maki in the eyes anymore: not because they were accusatory, but because there was so much hurt in them. "When Hanayo got sick, I was scared. I'd never had anyone that I knew deal with something like that. And she wasn't just my friend. She was my _best_ friend: my girlfriend. I couldn't imagine losing her, and... and when I did, I..." She started to cry, her voice becoming affected by it. "I didn't know what to do... My whole world was turned upside down, and I was mad at everyone. I was mad at the Gods for letting her die, at the hospital for not saving her..." She sniffled, looking sadly at Maki. "At you, because I'd trusted you with her care. I'd been so sure that if anyone could cure her, it was you. I know I shouldn't have put all that burden on you, but I let my emotions get the best of me."

"I didn't think you'd ever come back." Maki's voice was quiet, her hand coming up to wipe some of the tears from her eyes. "I didn't want you to go, but I just couldn't tell you otherwise. I was too stubborn, I guess." She fell onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. "When you blamed me for what had happened, I felt so hurt at first. She was my best friend too, and I thought you out of all people would understand most how horrible I was feeling. But you hated me for it, and then you left. All our other friends were still here, but they couldn't really understand. They weren't the ones who had years of medical experience at their disposal, yet were completely helpless to save someone they cared so much about. And, well, I guess I pushed them away too... I do that a lot, don't I?"

"It was kind of your thing for a bit." She laughed and laid next to Maki, sighing deeply. "But I'm no better. I pushed you away too, and... well, we needed each other to get through that grieving process. I... guess I never really did much of that. I mean, I cried all the time after it happened, but... I just stopped thinking about it when I moved. I just thought that if I wasn't here anymore, all those terrible thoughts couldn't get to me. And it worked in a way. It wasn't that I didn't think about her every single day, but the more time that passed, the more I wasn't affected as much. Not having to pass by all the same stores we'd go to together, or walk the same streets that we walked on... It helped, but... I feel like it was bad of me to do that. Like I haven't been respecting her memory by trying to forget all those moments we shared together. Doesn't she deserve for me to cry over her loss every day?"

"I can tell you from experience that doesn't help much." Maki laughed ruefully, her fingertips dragging across Rin's. "I can't go by our high school anymore because I cry every time I see it. After she died, and you left, I had to take a week off of work. I spent the entire week in my room crying. Didn't shower, barely ate. I might've never come out if Nozomi and Nico hadn't broken one of my windows and forced themselves into my house." Rin's eyes widened, but she wasn't sure why that surprised her. That sounded exactly like something those two would do.

"I couldn't keep my favorite picture of us as my phone lock screen. It sounds like such a small thing, but I'd see her smiling and I'd just lose it. I couldn't go out into public and start crying anymore. People were beginning to stare." She felt Maki's fingers brush against hers, and she moved her hand so she could hold Maki's. It wasn't clear whether or not it was intentional, but in that moment it felt right. "Thinking back on it, I probably would've been better off just hashing things out with you before I left. It would've been really painful right then, but maybe we could still think about her and smile." The more she talked, the more she realized just how wrong she had acted this entire time. "Man, I've been such an idiot."

"Join the club." It seemed like both of them realized at the same time how much easier things would've been if they'd just talked things out back then. Thinking about how much time the two of them had wasted on angry feelings sounded like as good a time to get a drink as any. "I'm gonna go downstairs and get something to drink. You want anything?" She tried to stand up, but she was stopped by Rin tugging on her hand.

"Why don't we just stay here for the night? I don't think either of us need to be drinking." They already had a full emotional talk while completely sober, or at least assumedly sober in Maki's case. She had the feeling that either of them getting drunk - or both of them, Gods forbid - would make things a lot more emotional, and possibly a lot worse. Besides, based on what she'd heard from Nico and Nozomi, the last thing Maki needed right now was any more alcohol.

"Alright..." As much as she wanted to down a few bottles from her fridge after letting all of that emotional stuff out, she obliged Rin and laid back down. It felt like they had said everything they needed to say, though, at least for the moment. She wasn't sure what to talk about now, but that wasn't really new. This felt like they were dipping into the 'small talk' part of conversation, and she was still terrible at that. "So, uh... how's California? Are you liking it there?"

"Mhm. The beaches are really nice, and it's not too expensive if you're not living in any of the big cities. Traffic's still ass, though." She traced circles on Maki's palm, humming quietly to herself. "If you want, you should come visit sometime. I'm sure my roommates would love to see if we found closure with each other or not." That was a mad leap from 'talking things out' to 'inviting her to stay over'. She hadn't thought about what she was saying before she said it, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. After three years apart, there was only so much catching up they could do in half a week.

"I... would consider that." She turned her head to see the indecision on Maki's face. Had she gone too far by suggesting such a thing? It was probably too much, considering they had only just opened a dialogue between themselves. "If you're offering that, then... then I suppose it wouldn't be too much of a hassle to have you stay with me should you decide to come back here. There's enough room and all." She sounded somewhat apathetic about it, but the twirling of her hair around her finger gave away how she truly felt. Rin couldn't help but smile seeing that. It felt like she was in high school again, lounging on Maki's bed and laughing about something with her and Hanayo-

"I wouldn't mind that." She tried to smile, but it was an effort. It wasn't because of the offer, though, and she hoped Maki didn't notice the sadness in her smile. Otherwise she might get the wrong impression. "Maybe we should get some sleep. It is pretty late." She laughed awkwardly, feeling the energy she had before coming here having drained away due to the serious nature of their conversation. "I hope it's okay if I stay here tonight."

"Yes, that's fine. If Nozomi's going to commandeer my couch, I don't see why you can't stay over as well." Maki pulled her hand from Rin's, making Rin feel a sudden cold sensation drift over her. While she was trying to understand what that was all about, Maki looked down at herself with a frown. "I suppose I should take a shower and change into something a bit more appropriate for sleep. If you go two doors down, there's a guest bedroom that will be on your right. It's attached to a bathroom if you need it."

"Thanks. Goodnight Maki." She left the room and closed the door, following Maki's instructions to reach the guest bedroom. When she entered it, she only bothered turning on the lights in case she tripped over something. That wouldn't have been the case, though: it was a straight shot to the bed from the door. From where she was standing, the bed looked mighty comfy. The rest of the room seemed fine from a quick glance too. It wasn't as barren as Maki's own room had been, but it wasn't overstuffed with furniture and other accessories. If she hadn't known where she was, she would've believed this to be a room for a bed and breakfast.

She closed the door and shut off the lights, heading over for the thin strips of light coming from the blinds. Pulling them up, she took a look outside. The moonlight was shining on the house next door, one that looked just as nice as Maki's. Clearly this was the nice part of the neighborhood. She stared out past the rooftops with a sigh, tilting her head so she could look up at the moon. It was a beautiful sight, really, as if it had no idea of the turmoil that was raging inside her mind.

Even thinking about Hanayo made her want to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out. It took all she had to not start bawling in front of Maki for what would've appeared to be no reason. Ever since she had died, Rin had felt completely aimless in her life. Nothing had been right without the light of her life by her side. Even after putting the right foot forward into making amends with Maki, she wasn't sure what she should do. If only she could speak with Hanayo again: she'd know exactly what to say. She always had.

So... maybe she needed to go speak with her again.

* * *

"You didn't have to come with me if it's too hard for you." It was a bright and sunny afternoon, which was the complete opposite kind of weather for where they were going. She had never stepped foot in a graveyard with the sun down, however, and she wasn't planning on starting now. Even if she didn't believe there was such things as ghosts, she wasn't going to risk being proved wrong. It was also pretty windy, and she kept trying to hide her face within her hoodie to keep the chill off her face. That didn't really work.

"I'll be fine." A response without much conviction. Maki walked next to her with a jacket but no hoodie. Somehow the wind blew her hair in a way that was movie-star perfect. Instead of being blown into her face, it seemed to... Gods, she couldn't even think of the words to describe how it looked. She was honestly flabbergasted that Maki could still look that good in weather like this. That wasn't fair, man.

She wasn't sure that she was ready for this. It was her first time stepping into this cemetery - any cemetery, actually - since the funeral. Obviously, it was kind of hard to visit when she was an entire ocean away, but she wasn't sure if she would've been strong enough to do it even if she hadn't moved. The funeral had been difficult enough, what with her crying through literally every part of it. They said that time healed all wounds, but she didn't feel particularly healed at the moment. She felt liable to break down at any moment.

Despite how much time had elapsed, Rin knew the exact way to go the moment they'd reached the gates. When they were just about to reach their destination, she reached for Maki's hand and grabbed it tightly. She could see Maki looking at her out of the corner of her eye, but she just held her hand and didn't say anything. It was unspoken, but she knew that Rin needed her presence at the moment. They had been at odds for so long, but now they both needed each other right then to get through this.

When she stopped in front of Hanayo's headstone, she felt a heavy force pressing down on her body. She sucked in a breath, squeezing Maki's hand tighter. Everything felt a lot colder than it had been just a second before, but she knew her warmest clothes weren't going to help with this. She took in another deep breath, feeling the words she wanted to say stuck on her tongue when she focused on the name of her girlfriend etched into the stone. This was just so damn hard...

"Hey Kayo-chin, it's Rin. I know it's been awhile, and I'm really sorry about that. It's just... I moved to California. You probably already know that because you can see everything from up there..." She became choked up for a second, only finding herself able to keep going when she felt Maki squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry I didn't stick around. It was just too hard for me to stay here and see all the places we used to go, knowing that you would never be able to go there again. I couldn't stand it...

"I know you'd be upset about how I acted after you died. I..." There wasn't any point in hiding things, since an angel would know all her sins. "I was terrible to Maki for something that wasn't her fault, and I ran away from our home like a coward. I just hope you can understand that I did it because I loved you so much that I couldn't stay in a place that had meant so much to us. Your spirit is still everywhere in this city, and I haven't been able to look at it the same way anymore. I just wish you were still here..." She fell to her knees, tears starting to spill from her eyes as she stared at the headstone. "I just want you to come back and hold me again..."

As she sat there on her knees, eyes closed and tears dripping down her cheeks, she could feel the wind picking up. A strange scent was carried on the breeze which caught her attention. She had to have been manic, but she could've sworn that she could smell... tomatoes? Confused, she looked up at Maki, who was staring off at something that likely only she could see. She looked back down at the headstone, wiping the tears from her eyes. The scent had vanished as quickly as it had appeared, but it felt like Hanayo had heard her and was trying to tell her something.

"I should've asked you this a long time ago..." She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a small black box, gently setting it down in front of the headstone. "If I'm being honest, I should've asked you in middle school." She laughed, continuously needing to wipe her tears away. It didn't keep her from speaking, though. "You would've been so embarrassed, but I just know you would've said yes." Her smile was sad, but it held a fondness for the woman she had expected to spend the rest of her life with. "I know you would've said yes if I had asked at any point. I just wish that I hadn't been so scared that you'd say no... Maybe I could've made your last days on Earth even happier."

"What's that?" Maki stared down at the box as Rin stood up, feeling a noticeable tenseness surrounding them. She had a feeling that she knew what was in the box, but she needed the confirmation from Rin.

"I was going to ask her to marry me." Yup, she knew it. Maki swallowed nervously, not prepared for the sudden wave of emotions that hit her then. "I'd bought it because I'd been so sure for so long, but I was scared... and then I ran out of time." She was still crying, and that did it for Maki. As strong as she'd tried to be, even she wasn't immune to the mournful nature of their situations. One second she was okay, and the next she was crying even harder than Rin. Her sobs were silent, but Rin could see her sadness from a mile away. That just made her cry as well, and then the two of them were just a collaborative mess.

She felt the breeze pushing at her back, and without thinking she surged forward and wrapped her arms around Maki. It really did feel like Hanayo was speaking to her, wanting her to be this vulnerable with Maki. She could've stayed home and not put herself through this emotion turmoil, but she had. It made Rin that much more grateful that she'd gone over to Maki's, even when her mind was telling her not to do it. She could just tell that Hanayo wouldn't want them to keep fighting, and she was going to listen. There wasn't any more time for petty feuds based around blame and stubborn natures.

They hugged and cried on each other's shoulders until their tears dried up. Then they separated, wiping at their eyes before looking at each other. Neither of them spoke, but there was a silent agreement between them. It would take time before things got back to how they once had been, if it could happen at all. What was important was that they knew they had to try, and they were both willing to do so. For their friends, for Hanayo, and for themselves too.

She looked up at the clouds, breathing in the air that suddenly felt clearer than it had in a long time. Though she still felt sad, she found herself smiling without having to force it. She knew exactly who to thank for that. Closing her eyes, she whispered to the sky, "Thank you, Hanayo... for everything. I'll never stop loving you, I promise."

* * *

A month after her trip to Japan had ended, Rin had settled back into her California life. Despite all the negative emotions that she had gotten out in a positive manner, she still had her current life to get back to. She'd felt a bit more peaceful after she went to speak to Hanayo, but it wasn't enough to feel comfortable staying there for too long. There was still a lot of pain that she hadn't yet fully come to grips with yet. In the end, she knew it was best to return to her apartment and slip back into her normal life.

There was one difference, though: she and Maki were talking again. She had been able to physically feel the relief from all their friends when they showed up for a get-together dinner and didn't give each other the cold shoulder. Since she'd returned to California, the two of them had been texting each other pretty frequently. It made her feel a bit better each day that passed where they were still in a friendly relationship. Things honestly felt like they were going to be okay.

About a week after she'd gotten back, she changed her lock screen to a new picture: one of herself, Hanayo, and Maki at their high school graduation. They were all smiling, as happy as could be about a future that would forever be changed not even a decade later. It had made her cry when she'd initially chosen that picture, but considering the circumstances, it had felt right to choose it. Three weeks later, she still felt sad each time she saw it, but she would also smile too. For the first time, she could actually think about the good times she'd had with Hanayo, rather than the misery she'd felt in the wake of her death. It was definitely cliche, but as long as she kept Hanayo's memory in her heart, she would always be alive in some way. She'd rather hang onto that cliche rather than feel cynical and dead inside.

Her phone lit up with a different picture one afternoon. Now that she and Maki were talking again, she needed a picture of her for her contact. She'd decided to go with a picture she'd honestly forgotten she'd taken: one of Maki playing the piano during their second year of high school. It wasn't exactly a current picture, but she'd felt drawn to the serene nature of the photo. Since she took it without Maki noticing, she didn't have the chance to act all huffy and embarrassed about it. Instead, she had her eyes closed and the hint of a smile on her face. It was the kind of peace she'd only ever noticed her having while playing the piano.

"Maki?" She may have changed the photo, but she hadn't expected Maki to actually call her. It was pretty early in the morning over there, plus it was expensive calling overseas. Not that Maki couldn't afford it, but... A sudden knot of unease formed in her stomach, wondering if something bad had happened. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." It sounded strangely busy in the background for being so early. She could hear the combined noises of bustling people, but she couldn't exactly make out what was going on. There was a garbled, metallic voice that sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it right away.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at the airport." Her eyes widened at this revelation. She was at the airport? This was so sudden... Was this actually happening? "Rin? Are you still there?" She was talking loudly to hear herself over all the noise, but Rin had to pull the phone away from her ear because of how loud she was.

"Yeah, I'm still here. I just... didn't expect this. You didn't even tell me you were flying in." Hopping on a plane to visit someone without telling that person they were coming was a very un-Maki-like action. She was always so careful to make sure everyone knew exactly what was happening well ahead of time. Being impetuous was more her style.

"Well, you said I was welcome to come visit you whenever I wanted." She tried to sound impassive, but Rin could imagine her twirling her hair around a finger. "Are you going to come pick me up, or should I just walk to your apartment?" Well, at least there was no doubt this was the real Maki. That was definitely something that she would say. It definitely hadn't been expected, but the surprise was a pleasant one. She had decided to visit after all, and sooner than she could've ever hoped to expect. She wasn't exactly ready, since she hadn't had time to clean up or brief her roommates on what was happening, but this was happening right now. Besides, she wasn't going to say no to the opportunity to mend fences in the good ol' 'infinite traffic' state. Jumping to her feet, she grabbed her wallet and keys, running for the door. There was a big smile on her face, and it shone in her voice.

"I'm on my way!"


End file.
